I would not know how long I going to stay to attend this church regularly. Soon I will be hopping around many church, maybe visit this church once a blue moon like one to two months once on a Sunday service.
Pastor Rony Tan
Lighthouse Evangelism Woodlands
81 Woodlands Circle
Dear Pastor Rony Tan,
As you known, I recently come back to your church. I decided to serve in praise light, I went for an audition that Brother Rico worship manager and sister Girlie choir lead church staff need me to attend at least sword light or cell light regular and after a few months will arrange an audition again. I tell them I would like to attend cell light, so brother Rico told me he will tomorrow Monday morning go to church ask them to arrange. Pastor Alan How called me tomorrow Monday morning that I said I make lighthouse Evangelism a home church so he arranged a cell group for me to attend.
After attended a few times, I decided to lead worship piano in cell group which I never done before. I done once played 4 songs and got some problem ask for their feedback. They said some songs are unfamiliar, the cell leader host upright piano was too far at the corner at the living room from them sitting. I asked for a list of songs, the cell leader gave me ten songs and I choose 4 songs, bring my portable keyboard to host cell leader house to play. A few days before the cell group, I send the audio recording in WhatsApp group for them to prepare for coming cell group meeting worship as new way just trying out that this second song is using auto play only need to press chords done on Casio keyboard 61 keys portable model ctk4400 cost about S$300 for new set. Before that I asked my cell leader about the audio recording he finds ok. I did not attach audio recording in this letter so you want can ask Brother Rico as send to his e-mail or cell leader.
The first song is ok a bit. But second song one brother sing very loud out of rhythm then I cannot auto play on keyboard well. Third song and last song he does that again so I cannot play well. Second song auto play is less time spend to prepare easier for me to play compare to the rest of three songs using manual piano way of playing. I went home called my cell leader over the phone a few mins to told him can tell in the cell group sing loud can but if out of rhythm can sing softer so can I can sing out to lead worship. He said cannot be done as people or someone will feel hurt. He finds people able to sing out loud and proper. So, A few days I decided and inform the cell leader I decided to left cell group due to this issue. I Had informed Brother Rico I left the cell group so not need to come for anymore audition for praise light no need to wait for me and also church camp in Malacca to withdraw due to not able to serve in praise light ministry. He called my cell leader and after that he told me two things, cell leader said piano or keyboard worship not conducive in this house and no one is singing loud.
That make me even not going to serve in any ministry, and even visit another cell group to attend regularly so not making lighthouse evangelism my home church now after heard these two issues.
Another update. My mental illness condition is improving. Last few months I see psychiatrist she said I did not hear voices for a few years after asking me some of my symptoms if I had. Since I said I need medication so that I will not think so much bad things about people in work to resign very fast but going for long stable income she said I not suffering schizophrenia but bipolar disorder instead. Last few days on Thursday I went for follow up appointment, she checks on my symptoms and said since I work for few years already I may not need medication at all as work no stress stable income which maybe just mood disorder or simply mood problem. She reduced my medication half hopefully see me next year no need medication but yearly see her once just for review. Unless soon I change my job now contract to perm job more stress than have to take back medication. I ask her I have stable job, good family support but why church got so much problem you cannot help me as psychiatrist. She said is it that I go big church less problem but small church more problem. I told her it is not like that, just that if I go church without much interaction with people I can stay in church very long, just that once church tell us to go small group or serve ministry to interact a lot with few known people I have a lot of problem and left church going many churches. She said church in nature have many problems she cannot help any.
Final update, I met some lady for first time dating in online websites. Hopefully can find love and get married like two to three years from now. Since year 2004, I come first time to lighthouse Evangelism Woodlands as the church new building just started using. I know it from church flyer received at my house door step so visit it. Till now, my family all Taoist non-believer never come to any church since I become Christian. But last week Sunday afternoon service 3.15pm I managed to bring first person to lighthouse evangelism who I date her recently got from online web sites and stay through all the way even Pastor Pacer is praying for people at the altar at the end of service. She is Buddhist from Malaysia and want to go church with me as she never goes church before. I told her going church will make you a Christian. She said do not want to become Christian. Saturday miracle service she is in Johor. But Sunday service I told her church will ask you fill in welcome card so church will contact you so you need to handle if you told them you are not Christian, she said no need to let church knows she come first time. After the service end, we did not meet up the pastor to welcome her to church for first time. She said she like Christian songs just now in service like pop songs, but I do not think she refers to my loud singing being well properly sung. But I sing, pray, speak in tongue loud does not mean I more spiritual, just that maybe I attend music lessons in singing causing it used to loud. She said message preach was quite practical she understood some. But we broke off shortly a few days ago due to she told me she pregnant. Baby was last time boyfriend who broke off recently a month plus ago as he had baby with another lady. She wants to be single mother and keep the child.
This letter is for your info and sharing. Reply is only needed if you able to solve that previous cell group issue to come back or visit another cell regular to make it home church again. Not look into lead worship in cell using any musical instrument as I know keyboard piano or a bit guitar, may cause more problem. I not against using YouTube if cell leader or group prefers, or pray hard for another musician come soon.